When I try to write prose about the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico I invariably end up typing lots of four-letter words as the only way to express my deepening rage.  So, rather than inflict “filth flarn flarn filth” upon you, dear reader, I have decided to torment you with doggerel.  Enjoy, if you can…

The BP Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico

The oil floats upon the waters;
The oil lurks beneath the waves.
The oil glops and glurps and slaughters;
The oil brings only early graves.

To some it seemed a slam-dunk issue;
To some it seemed like common sense.
If its energy for which you wish you
Drill down deep through dark and dense.

Though energy was not what was wanted
By profit-seekers and stockholders galore.
Money was sought and money flaunted
And now oil washes up along the shore.

“Drill baby drill!” demanded the demented,
“Drill baby drill!” their battle cry.
“Drill baby drill!” and they meant it
“Drill baby drill!” and never ask why.

“Drill baby drill!” is what was said
By Sarah’s pretty empty head.
The “party of life” making life dead.
The “party of life” making life dead.

Let’s talk about Obama and his reaction,
Let’s talk about how he he can’t stop the spill.
Let’s not talk about the political faction
That’s all about “Drill baby drill!”

Forget all about Cheney and Bush;
Those oil guys are yesterday’s news after all.
What energy task force? Let your brain go to mush;
Obama should be the one to take the fall.

Don’t get it wrong, Barack is not blameless;
He is clearly not an environmentalist.
But false equivalencies with the shameless
Hacks who chanted makes thinking people pissed.

So what can we do to stop the spill?
What can we do to even the score?
Forget a fine I want to kill!
I want blood of oil executives to wash up on the shore.

I know that I will never get to see
A sight as wondrous as BP
Executives strung up in a tree.
Come on, it can’t be just me!

We should take every single cent
Of BP’s ill-gotten gains,
And make sure all that money’s spent
On cleaning up, not PR campaigns.

The entire oil industry should be nationalized
And phased out as time goes by.
This solution is easily rationalized
But is probably pie-in-the-sky.

We all know exactly how this will end.
We all know little will be done.
BP has in Congress lots of friends
And the spin machine has already begun.

Sorry for the cynicism
But it does beat cursing about the spilth.
Sorry for the pessimism
But it’s all I got without filth flarn flarn filth.

We can hope that things will change
We can think that this time will bring something new
But this spill is so bad I’d gladly exchange
It for Exxon Valdez 2!

So what am I saying, what is my point?
Just that something has to give
Our economic system is so far out of joint
That it is destroying how we live.

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Written by Corey
Corey is a New Yorker who lived most of his life in upstate New York but has lived in Queens since 2008. He's only been birding since 2005 but has garnered a respectable life list by birding whenever he wasn't working as a union representative or spending time with his family. He lives in Forest Hills with Daisy, their son, Desmond Shearwater, and their indoor cat, B.B. His bird photographs have appeared on the Today Show, in Birding, Living Bird Magazine, Bird Watcher's Digest, and many other fine publications. He is also the author of the American Birding Association Field Guide to the Birds of New York.