Mighty Duck Jokes

So the Anaheim Ducks have won the 2007 Stanley Cup, their first in franchise history. I don’t know what’s funnier: that a team named after a duck took the championship, that a southern California hockey team beat a Canadian team, or that the 2007 champs, formerly owned by Disney, used to be called the Mighty Ducks and played in the Duck Pond.

Ducks are funny. There’s no denying it. It’s not just that the way they waddle and quack is entertaining; ducks seem good-natured and cheerful. Their general amiability undoubtedly contributes to the enduring duck celebrities like Donald D. and his extended family, not to mention the AFLAC spokesfowl. Even Daffy Duck’s avaricious histrionics are amusing in a buffoonish way.

Not only are ducks funny, but jokes involving ducks are funny. The archetypal duck joke involves said waterfowl walking into a place of commerce and speaking, after which hilarity ensues. This gag enjoys a long, honorable tradition; joke books and humor websites absolutely teem with examples of the form.

I would be remiss if I didn’t honor the momentary supremacy of an avian-themed sports team. In homage, I’d like to present three particularly rich duck jokes, each one a bit longer than the last, culled from the World Wide Web for your amusement. Please feel free to share your favorite duck jokes in the comments section:

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk “Give me some chapstick, and put it on my bill!”

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Has my brother been in here?”
The bartender responds, “What does he look like?”

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A duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, “Got any duck food?”
“No,” says the clerk, “we only sell dog food and cat food.”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
The clerk once again replies, “No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food.”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
The clerk says, “Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
This time the clerk yells, “We don’t sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any nails?”
“No,” says the confused clerk.
Then the duck says, “Got any duck food?”

(If you like this joke, you might appreciate an animated variant, The Duck Song.)

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This joke was shared by DearWebby of Dear Webby’s Humor Letter:

A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded
about a table watching a little show. On the table was an
upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.

The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy
the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing,
they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in
anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before
a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step!”

“That’s strange,” said the duck’s former owner,
“Did you remember to light the candle under the pot?”