- Whisper “That bristlehead? Oh, it flew off five minutes ago. Everyone else got great photos.”
- Casually mention you deleted all your bird photos because your phone was full. Add: “But it had this cool black-and-yellow warbler thing. It was hopping in the snow.”
- Offer to come birding, then show up in flip-flops, talking loudly, with a bright red umbrella. Slam the car door. Eat noisy snacks. Play music on a Bluetooth speaker. Point at squirrels.
- Ask “What’s so bad about cats?”
- Say “I just saw a woodpecker… or maybe it was a hawk? It had… wings.”
- Laugh and say, “Bird names? Oh, I just make them up. I call that one a Rainbow Beakster. And that one’s a Screaming Sky Potato.”
- Tell them you’re really into birds, too — then show them your collection of porcelain hummingbirds.
Kai has lived in Shanghai for more than 21 years. He only started birding after moving to China, so he is far more familiar with Chinese birds than the ones back in his native Germany. As a birder, he considers himself strictly average and tries to make up for it with photography, which he shares on a separate website. Alas, most of the photos are pretty average as well.
He hopes that few clients of his consulting firm—focused on China’s chemical industry—ever find this blog, as it might raise questions about his professional priorities. Much of his time is spent either editing posts for 10,000 Birds or cleaning the litter boxes of his numerous indoor cats. He occasionally considers writing a piece comparing the two activities.
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