Residents of Staten Island, the borough of New York City most New Yorkers would rather cede to New Jersey, apparently don’t like their Wild Turkeys.*
Their fate hangs in the balance of a “turkey attitude” survey being developed by the state Department of Environmental Conservation to gauge how annoying residents find them. Anecdotal evidence suggests opinions are mixed about the birds, which hold up traffic when they cross the street, roost in trees and decorate the cars below with their copious droppings.
The birds might be left alone, eradicated, moved, or kept in captivity. Let’s hope Staten Islanders have a higher opinion of turkeys than New Yorkers have of Staten Islanders. Maybe if the survey is distributed after (American) Thanksgiving the turkeys will be spared?
The full article is available at silive.com. Article found via Gothamist.
*Though whether or not the birds are 100% wild in origin is in question.
Could the outcome trigger a secession movement?
Is Zelda an insurgent sent from Staten Island to draw the rest of New York City into this conflict on the Turkey’s side?
Hey, Cory? We tried to secede–voted overwhelmingly to leave NYC and pretentious twits like you behind back in ’93, but Shelly Silver blocked it, mostly because Staten Island has the highest per capita income of all the 5 boroughs and the city needs our cash. We’re still trying to leave NYC behind, since we basically have no say in anything the City Council does, and regularly get screwed when it comes to things like public transportation and health services–we’re the only borough that doesn’t have a public hospital–not to mention the fact we get jack squat return for the outrageous VZ Bridge tolls we pay that subsidises the MTA.
Since you’re a newbie to these parts, you probably also don’t know that your newly found “home town” once considered doing the same thing for many of the same reasons. But you keep on bringing the SI hate, baby! Shaolin is used to it. Hell, we revel in it!
@tc@leathepenguin- Whoah, did you even bother to read that the post was about the turkey issue on Staten Island?
@Patrick ODonnell: It’s all good, Patrick. Staten Islanders are notoriously thin-skinned and slow-witted. And their women are frightening!
Yes indeed, Pat, but since I see them birds every single day, that part ranked as “old news,” so I replied to the attempt at snarky putdown of my homestead. But, based on that SI Advance–locally, many call it “the Retreat”– snippet, I can tell you if the neighborhood actually has any say, those birds will be gone, ASAP.
Cory, how the devil do you interpret what I wrote to be an example of me being “thin-skinned” or “slow-witted” that doesn’t call into question your cognitive skills?
Haters gotta hate….
@TC: You took a couple of throwaway jokes about Staten Island personally and responded with a bit of a rant. That is why I think you are thin-skinned.
Also, you live on Staten Island which means that, according to you, you get stiffed on government services, overcharged to use a bridge, and have no effective political representation. That is why I think you are slow-witted. That, and you apparently can’t read and retain information (the simplest explanation for why you can’t spell my name correctly).
@TC: Geez, relax, ey?
If what Corey wrote in good humour got you so steamed up, try being German for a day or two.