Spouses of birders (SOBs) are wonderful people. They tolerate your crazy hobby, even though they privately wonder how you can stare at a bush for so long, expecting a bird to pop out. They drive places with you that no sane person would willingly visit on vacation. (Sewage lagoons, anyone?) They become friends with your birding friends. They are your sherpa, carrying all your birding baggage. Many of them become good at spotting birds, even if they don’t have a clue what that bird is. They share your hand-me-down binoculars with non-birders. And, they are horrified when they realize how many birds they can actually identify correctly.
My husband is a perfect example of an SOB. I think an SOB has to have a sense of humour about birding. He delights in telling people that I took him to a great spot in beautiful Naples, Florida. When he says that we visited the county landfill, they think he’s joking. I have heard of other SOBs who tell concerned locals they are not lost. They are right where they are supposed to be as they wait for their birding partner to check out a ditch, or swamp, or a parking lot full of gulls.
When I’m birding, a lot of times I am so focused on birds that I miss everything else. That’s why it is great to have my SOB with me to point out the other wildlife around me. My husband has shown me pocket gophers, leaf-cutter ants, multiple varieties of snakes, and poison-dart frogs among other interesting critters.
My husband always brings the newspaper and a book along to read when he takes me birding. I’ve seen other SOBs bring along puzzle books or crafts to work on to pass the time, while waiting for their birding spouse to finally give up waiting for the hoped-for rare bird to appear.
SOBs are delighted to discover a fellow SOB, someone normal they can talk to about books, movies, or fun stuff to do on vacation. I always tell my husband not to talk about religion or politics with fellow SOBs. But, he says he always gets drawn into others’ conversations, when they ask his opinion.
SOBs are never innocent bystanders. People always assume my husband is the birder, because many people still think that birding is dominated by men. He always tells people that I’m the birder and that he’s there to keep me company.
SOBs get to visit faraway places. But, I always try to play fair. When visiting a new city we’ve not been to before, we’ll take a break from birding for other activities. We have visited aircraft carriers, underground caves, museums, art galleries, and aquariums. We’ve gone to concerts, plays, and some really nice restaurants. After all, we want to keep our SOBs happy and willing to continue to be our fellow traveler and best birding buddy.
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SOBs are weird people, I think they are weirder than the birders they hang out with… this was a fun read, Leslie, very recognisable. My wife has seen some of the rarest birds on the planet but couldn’t tell a dodo from a pitta.
My wife is an SOB. Whenever I ask her what is that bird singing the answer is always ‘Scarlet Tanager.’ Every now and then she is right. 😉
Fully agree Leslie! Having a supportive spouse is a real gift, even better when they become fully assimilated into the hobby!
What started as my passion slowly became *our* holiday routine. Now she’s spotting birds before I do, has her own camera, reminds me to bring extra charged batteries, etc.
It’s no longer just my hobby, it’s something we genuinely share, and that makes every sighting even more special.
My wife has accompanied me to some wonderful places – sewage farms at Alice Springs (Australia) and Port of Spain (Trinidad) were highlights. She wasn’t impressed with the bargain accommodation our guide had booked us into at Khao Yai National Park, either. (It did have nylon sheets that looked as if they had never been washed, and the temperature was over 30degC). She has endured being charged by an elephant in Botswana while walking in Okavango, and being driven by a gung-ho (but charming) guide in Romania. It was irritating when he slid the minibus into a ditch.
Remarkably, we are still married, and she is a passionate swift enthusiast. Her hobby is bell-ringing (the ancient art of change ringing). I had a go once but it wasn’t for me.
Your wife is an angel, David and she deserves a Nobel Prize. That one paragraph lists enough to chase away a less saintly soul, for sure. You try her hobby once and give up, she endures the Alice Springs sewage ponds (farm is a big word). I am writing the letter to Sweden now! And one to Rome too, to be sure.
Conveniently, a lot of birding can be done at sunrise. So you sneak out when everyone is still asleep and meet your family again at breakfast.
I also have two “KOBs” who have endured a lot to humor their “boomer” daddy. Recently though, my daughter started to point out birds and butterflies to me and my son started taking pictures! Keep your fingers crossed!