Lists

Things That Make Birds Cringe

February 19, 2026 by Kai Pflug 5 Comments

If birds could cringe, these events would do it.

  • Being called a “seagull.”
  • Being called a “living dinosaur.”
  • Being labeled “drab but reliable.”
  • Being shown in “non-breeding plumage” in a field guide.
  • Hearing playback mangled by a tone-deaf human.
  • Having people go psshh psshh at you.
  • Getting photographed while mating.
  • Having your nest called “messy.”
  • Being fed bread by well-meaning but clueless humans.
  • Hearing your habitat described as “a birding paradise.”
  • Having a silly English name like “Go-away-bird.”
  • Being named after an asshole like Jameson.
  • Being called a “winged denizen.”
  • Being told that birds don’t exist.
  • Enduring the same lame Japanese Tit joke again.
  • Being turned into f*cking metaphors or poems (“a thing with feathers”).
  • Being used by D. Trump—who never gave a damn about the environment—as an excuse to block green technology.
  • Hearing your alarm call in a meditation app.

Not that they’d ever admit it, of course.

Photo: Blue-faced Malkoha, Sri Lanka, March 2025

Note: The better entries in the list above are all by Peter Penning, but don’t tell him that, as it might make him ask to publish a post of his own photos.

Written by Kai Pflug
Kai has lived in Shanghai for 22 years. He only started birding after moving to China, so he is far more familiar with Chinese birds than the ones back in his native Germany. As a birder, he considers himself strictly average and tries to make up for it with photography, which he shares on a separate website. Alas, most of the photos are pretty average as well. He hopes that few clients of his consulting firm—focused on China’s chemical industry—ever find this blog, as it might raise questions about his professional priorities. Much of his time is spent either editing posts for 10,000 Birds or cleaning the litter boxes of his numerous indoor cats. He occasionally considers writing a piece comparing the two activities.